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All right, brain, I don't like you and you
don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing
you with beer.
 -Homer Simpson 
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You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor
without holding on.
 -Dean Martin 
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An intelligent man
is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
-For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway 
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They who drink
beer will think beer.
 -Washington Irving 
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I drink to make
other people interesting.
-George Jean Nathan 
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Not all chemicals
are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example,
there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
-Dave Barry 
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I would kill
everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
 -Homer Simpson 
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Give me a woman
who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
 -Kaiser Wilhelm 
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People who drink
light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like
to pee a lot.
-Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
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The problem with
the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
 -Humphrey Bogart 
|
Without question,
the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant
you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not
go nearly as well with pizza.
-Dave Barry 
|
If you ever reach
total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot
out your nose.
-Deep Thought, Jack Handy
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Beer is proof that
God loves us and wants us to be happy.
-Benjamin Franklin 
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When I read about
the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
-Henny Youngman 
|
Work is the curse
of the drinking class.
-Oscar Wilde 
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If God had
intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
-David Daye 
|
Sir, if you were
my husband, I would poison your drink.
-Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
-His reply 
|
A woman drove me
to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
-W.C. Fields 
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Time is never
wasted when you're wasted all the time.
-Catherine Zandonella 
|
He was a wise man
who invented beer.
-Plato 
|
Always remember
that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of
me.
-Winston Churchill 
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You can't be a
real country unless you have a beer and an airline it helps if you
have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons but at the
very least you need a beer.
-Frank Zappa
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